Friday, April 12, 2013

Did I mention we went to Hawaii?!

We celebrated 31 years of marriage, love, and great vacations with a trip to Hawaii!
Our honeymoon vacation was on Maui and Kauai, this time we went to Oahu.
Here are a couple photos:









Sunday, February 10, 2013

Looking for a Church - again, but different this time


okay, I'm ready to look for a church home.
Joe is willing too. I told him I'm going to try blogging about it- and he agreed to do it too!  Although he says he's not as wordy or 'thinky' as I am- he's got great wisdom, a different perspective, and it would be a different way for us to  evaluate various church experiences.

We left "the Grove" last April and since there was no way I felt like church shopping, I just planted a church. Which is definitely not easier, but this shows how much I didn't want to go through the process of selecting, visiting and potentially settling into a new church.

We've done this before- maybe we can write about some of those previous choices, but this time it feels different. Because we are different. Significantly different. We are older, much less conservative, and I am not looking to get into a leadership position. . . and there are probably several more ways we've changed.

So this time we are shopping in a whole new section of the store. Maybe another mall altogether. We will be investigating mainline, liberal churches!

First stop is  the United Methodist Church. We are going to a relatively new church plant called "Jacob's Well" in Chandler. 
I have been considering checking out this particular church for quite a while, and have 'sent' 2 other families there, both of whom LOVE it and are now regulars. They sent out a Facebook invitation to this new sermon series, In which they will have guests from other religions talk about their faiths. I said we'd come, and they made happy comments. So we will be greeted by a few friendly faces we know.

Here's what I'm expecting: Small, Churchplanty vibe: temporary space, young people, more enthusiasm than professionalism, invitation to coffee with pastor dude, talk about missional living. But this sermon series is really intriguing. It might mess up my plan to check out a different church every other week- because if they do this well and I keep showing up, I will probably learn a bunch of entirely new things, and have a perspective shift as well. 


Adriene Buffington

Sunday, January 6, 2013

okay, I'm ready to look for a church home.
Joe is willing too. I told him I'm going to try blogging about it- and he agreed to do it too!  Although he says he's not as wordy or 'thinky' as I am- he's got great wisdom, a different perspective, and it would be a different way for us to  evaluate various church experiences.

We left "the Grove" last April and since there was no way I felt like church shopping, I just planted a church. Which is definitely not easier, but this shows how much I didn't want to go through the process of selecting, visiting and potentially settling into a new church.

We've done this before- maybe we can write about some of those previous choices, but this time it feels different. Because we are different. Significantly different. We are older, much less conservative, and I am not looking to get into a leadership position. . . and there are probably several more ways we've changed.

So this time we are shopping in a whole new section of the store. Maybe another mall altogether. We will be investigating mainline, liberal churches!

First stop is  the United Methodist Church. We are going to a relatively new church plant called "Jacob's Well" in Chandler. http://www.churchremix.org/
I have been considering checking out this particular church for quite a while, and have 'sent' 2 other families there, both of whom LOVE it and are now regulars. They sent out a Facebook invitation to this new sermon series, in which they will have guests from other religions talk about their faiths. I said we'd come, and they made happy comments. So we will be greeted by a few friendly faces we know.

Here's what I'm expecting: Small, Churchplanty vibe: temporary space, young people, more enthusiasm than professionalism, invitation to coffee with pastor dude, talk about missional living. But this sermon series is really intriguing. It might mess up my plan to check out a different church every other week- because if they do this well and I keep showing up, I will probably learn a bunch of entirely new things, and have a perspective shift as well. 


Adriene Buffington

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Uncomfortable Wisdom

Every so often, pastors and teachers come up with a flash of insight that we instantly want to share. We enthuse, "That will preach!"

This isn't one of those times.

Yet what just came to me seems like wisdom and truth, uncomfortable and unwelcome as it feels. And I am going to share it anyway.

I was journaling this morning about how drained I feel after wrestling with controversial stuff in a conversation with a friend. I was thinking to myself that the struggle against injustice and the desire to do good should somehow feel better. Less draining, more of an adventure. And maybe it is energizing and fulfilling for him, but I just want to pull back from the battle, not jump in, give up before I even really start.
Here's my journal entry:

Concentrating on this issue doesn't draw me closer to God or fill me with hope.
Maybe it isn't supposed to.
Maybe the whole idea that if we are doing something good for the Kingdom of God, for the sake of others, that it will be joyful and fulfilling and grow our faith.
What if that isn't how it works? That that way of thinking works very effectively to keep people from doing the hard stuff-- the truly sacrificial, painful, but significant work that Christ Followers are called to do?
Maybe we minimize and deny the fact that there is pain and suffering and often no visible fruit or thank yous in the way of carrying our cross and following Jesus.

I trust that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing by planting a church now. I admit I am not doing it with all my heart and energy. I am honestly not feeling all the hope and joy and clarity that I would like to feel--that somehow I think I should feel so I have confirmation.
But maybe that isn't now it really works . . .

That would not "preach" well.

I've never ever heard anyone preach that you know what the right thing to do is, so do it! Even if you see no results, it feels painful, and you don't sense the presence and power of God. And do it with your whole heart, don't quit, and trust God even if you don't hear his voice.

That sounds like truth though. Hard truth. Truth for saints and martyrs and catholic monks. Truth that cuts against the grain of American Evangelical /Charismatic success-oriented and feel-good spirituality. Sounds like obedience in a season of desolation. Even without certainty or clarity, to walk and keep walking and trusting. Results or no, feelings or no. That sounds like FAITH.

I want to live with that kind of faith.
Well, to be perfectly honest, I want the life that feels joyful and energized and absolutely sure that God is active and with lots and lots of encouraging results. Of course I would prefer that. But what if that was never what God promised? What if all that was a sales pitch by churches that want us to buy in? By people who think that is what should get, because that's what we want-- so they preach it as a God-given need with a God-promised fulfillment? And maybe all of that is false advertising?

This is either really depressing, or really liberating.

It seems like we have this contemporary-christian-culture paradigm that is the opposite of a Puritanical mindset. From: 'If it feels good it must be sinful.' to: 'If it is from God, it must feel good.' Is there a third way? Like: 'Sometimes the good thing to do feels great, and other times it hurts -- but that's not why you do good!'

I don't even know how to pray about this!
I want to look back into the stories in the scriptures with my 'evangelical-success-and-happiness' filter removed and see if this is so. That this IS how the Spirit of God works in people and in the world. That if I don't expect 'positive results' and 'emotional fulfillment' I will find that God often works without it! And having found that, my life and my message and my ministry would have to shift.

I would have to be all in, fully engaged, without expecting any of the "results".

Oh, Lord.






- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Comparison Trap

I know better than to go that way, but still . . .


I met Kathy Escobar on Sunday. She is a pastor, a blogger, an author, a mother and wife, a compassionate and beautiful human being. She was in town and shared some thoughts from her book, Down We Go, with our friends at EmDes (an emergent cohort.)

I wanted to get to know Kathy, learn as much as possible in a very short time, and hoped to begin a friendship. So I bought her book and asked her to have dinner after our group meeting. She was generous, curious, encouraging, open, wise, and a joy to be with! I asked her practical stuff, like how their church, The Refuge, does a different format for their gathering each week of the month (because I want Streams of Grace to do that). I asked her about personal stuff, like how it works for her to have a co-pastor who is not her husband, and a husband who is not a pastor (because I want that to work for us too).

Everything Kathy shared was real, and helpful. So I was hopeful and inspired. . . and terribly discouraged because I am just not like her.

Yes, I can be encouraged and frustrated at the same time. Because I get to know someone who is a little like me, which is rare and wonderful and gives me joy to know I'm not a complete anomaly in the Kingdom. But then I head down a dark alley of comparing myself to this person, and feeling like I am seriously deficient in several key areas.

I know better. I have been mugged in this dark alley before. I have repeatedly preached a sermon about how comparing ourselves to others leads to shame or pride and is a barrier to relationships. And yet my mind goes into that dangerous place where I see clearly all the qualities that I lack, and all the faults I have, compared to a distorted sense of Kathy Escobar's Mother-Teresa-compassion and successful-ministry-and-marriage. I feel disqualified to do what she does, and deficient in the ways she is gifted.

Which led me to questioning my calling (I can't plant a church), procrastinating on my ministry task for this week (prepare a sermon), a weird headache (maybe from coffee deprivation), and a bit of a shopping spree (bras and theology books).

The good news is, there's grace. I realized where I was heading and asked Jesus to get me out of there. I stopped focusing on what I don't have, and remembered the blessings I DO have. I stopped comparing myself to someone else, and asked Abba to remind me who I am, whose I am, and who I AM is.

I'm not Mother Teresa or Kathy Escobar, but I have the Same Holy Spirit in me that they do. And you do too. I have a unique and well-designed combination of gifts, experiences, qualities, and even deficiencies. And so do you. I can do good, create beauty, speak grace, be myself.

So I am practicing gratitude. I am receiving God's grace in whatever form it comes to me, learning to accept who I am and value another person, without comparison. I have hope and joy again.

Also, I have a new blog post and a sermon for this Saturday!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I'd rather be journaling. . .

Blogging.
One more thing I think I should be doing, and sort of want to do. So to get from wishing to doing, here are all the reasons I don't blog.

I don't like sitting in front of the computer. The monitor is like a black hole sucking my brains and creativity and energy right out of my body. When I work at that desk for a few hours I generally feel like I wasted all that time.

Blogger doesn't publish the layout I want it to. I arrange my text and pictures how I think they will look nice on the blogsite. I preview it, which looks different from when I was creating it, and then publish it, and all 3 of those views are completely different! With the final version being the worst. This might not be a big deal if I only used one font, one photo, but that would look boring and normal and I want my stuff to be interesting and unique.

Nobody would read it. Or everyone would read it. In the first case I would be wasting my time, and in the unlikely event that lots of people would 'follow me', I would be obligated to continue blogging regularly and then I'd have to follow a zillion other bloggers and I would waste my whole day in front of the computer.

Comments to self:

I like my iPad. My son accuses me of being addicted to it. I resisted the whole empire of apple inc. for a long time, but resistance is futile, and I really like this thing! Yep, I'm typing on it now. In my comfy chair. (maybe it is the computer desk and chair I hate?)

I can switch to Wordpress, which involves learning a few new things, all of which require less time and effort than fretting about Blogger. I can just write in the default font (with bold and italic) and drop in one photo and let the content of what I write be the point of interest

I can reframe it as journaling, or as teaching- both of which I enjoy doing. Journaling is just for me, to figure out what I'm thinking and feeling and get myself unstuck and reoriented. (yes, that is my approach today, writing this blog instead of journaling.) Teaching is, for me, sharing good stuff I have learned and encouraging people to think or do something better- for their own benefit. I love a good discussion about things that matter to me, and I've entered into many interesting internet conversations on theOoze and Facebook.

So if those are my only "problems", they are easily overcome.


BUT Here is my real issue: I love my journals!


Blogging ISN'T journaling. It isn't just for my personal, private pondering. I can't just write my 3 pages of handwritten, stream-of-consciousness, soul-searching "morning pages" and publish that on the internet for the universe to see and comment on.

In my journal, I'm safe to grumble and ponder, struggle and pray, be boring or have flashes of inspiration. Nobody reads it, not even me most of the time, because the point is opening up and pouring myself onto the page. I can get real and vulnerable in those pretty notebooks. I don't care about the layout, or the language or my crappy penmanship.

My journal is me in my soft pajama pants and t-shirt with no bra, and messy hair and 2 mugs of coffee. Journaling has kept me sane and faithful and maybe saved my life, and certainly saved several relationships. For several years I keep a separate journal for prayers and spiritual devotions, now I just pray and ponder in the same notebook. I experimented with doodling along with writing for a bit, but a daily sketching discipline doesn't appeal to me.

I have rarely journaled every single day of the week, except when I first started working through "The Artists's Way", but I have regularly kept a journal for over 20 years. I have saved them all, even my journals from my teen years. However, I don't want anyone to read them until after I'm dead, or maybe never. My journals are private.

A blog is public.

So yeah, I want to blog. (And I should probably keep a sketchbook too.) But my 'first love' is journaling.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Last days of Spain vacation

We are on our way home!
Wish we had had one mor day in Barcelona, or energy to do more in the days we were there. . . But what a cool vacation this was!

We stayed in excellent hotels, thanks to our wonderful daughter's Starwood employee discount. The Palace in Madrid, W in Barcelona, and a Westin in Valencia.
Sharing a few photos . . .














Views from the 22nd floor in Barceloneta, W Hotel








The Westin Palace was a classic, luxurious hotel, with the best museums super-close. We sat under the stained glass dome and had wine and tapas, the best olives, and last night, a very fancy dinner.


Thank you Taren Buffington!














Great locations in each city, with superb beds and bathrooms. (yes, I did take home some of the special leaf-shaped soaps and fabulous bliss face-wash. Not allll the shampoos and soaps, just a few of my favorites. Oh, and the body butter..)













But I honestly am looking forward to sleeping in our own bed tonight!!! And using my special soaps in my own bathroom.


Oh wait, I forgot we have to fix the faucets in our bathroom sinks. Well, it will still be good to be home in 12 hours or so. Although I think we lose several hours, so I am already confused about the time.


Location:London, Heathrow Airport

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Inner Sacred Space

This was the most beautiful building I have ever been inside. It was full of tourists, yet still felt sacred. They had reserved one of the chapels for prayer, and not photographing or looking. I sat and prayed, and tears camee to my eyes. Really special. I LOVE The stained glass in here !







































Photos can't capture it!

There is a website with virtual 360* photos, and they are breathtaking.

http://www.sagradafamili.cat/sf-eng/docs_instit/vvirtual.php?vv=1

http://www.sagradafamilia.cat/sf-eng/docs_instit/vvirtual.php?vv=1

But nothing compares to being in that space. So glad to be here today!



Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:la Sagrada Familia, Barcelona

Inside La Sagrada Familia

This was the most beautiful building I have ever been inside. It was full of tourists, yet still felt sacred. They had reserved one of the chapels for prayer, and not photographing or looking. I sat and prayed, and tears camee to my eyes. Really special. I LOVE The stained glass in here !












Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Barcelona

La Sagrada Familia

Begun as a classic gothic church, over 100 years ago, as a means to expiate for the sins of the city. . . Completely re-envisioned by Gaudi. He died in 1926, with the monumental construction work just started. But he got to see the first of what will be 12 (or 17?) towers completed.

There are 2 facades So far: one is about the nativity (birth of Jesus), all organic shapes, strangely beautiful.

I noticed an orchestra of angels, including one playing the bassoon.

A sea turtle supporting a massive column.

The slaughter of the boy babies of Bethlehem. . .
















































The opposite side represents the Passion (Jesus's last week, death and resurrection). The style of the sculpture and architecture is the opposite of the Nativity side. Here it is sharp, hard, squared-off forms. Abstracted, meant to look 'modern' - at that time. Totally different feeling and I thought it was much more powerful.

Jesus betrayed with a kiss, Peter grieving that he denied Jesus, the crucifixion, mourners at the tomb. . . There is a golden statue of the resurrected Christ, but he was covered up by protective mesh today.






-



















As soon as I finish my brownie and glass of red wine, I will show you some of the inside.






Location:Barcelona Spain

Rainy in Barcelona

Yesterday we walked and bussed around in a misty rain. Visited the Joan Miro museum. (his work is interesting, but not my favorite art). We hoped to ride an aerial cable card over the bay, but it was closed due to strong wind. But we did see the major landmarks in the city from the park where the Olympics were held.

This is a very, very international city. I love people watching. Unfortunately, I feel awkward taking photos of strangers. I am fascinated by all the variations on the human face and head. Of course there are a thousand different ways to dress, but it is interesting how many different sorts of noses and jawlines and eyebrows there are. People are sculpted by an artist of infinite skill, creative genius, and maybe twisted humor!

The W hotel is filled with 'beautiful people' of course. And many of them are truly, naturally beautiful. But even a plain or odd-looking person carries herself like a beautiful woman when she's wearing clothing that cost a thousand dollars!

Its fun to listen to all the different languages spoken around us. Conversations with waiters and people of other nationalities are generally in English. But the accents are of all different flavors.

Even if we stay in the hotel lobby for a couple hours, taking advantage of free wifi, we are hearing and seeing the whole world! Loving this vacation, rainy days and all.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Barcelona, Spain

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Las Fallas

Last week we spent 2 nights in Valencia during their famous festival, Las Fallas. Groups of people have created dozens of statues, made of wood, paper mache, paint, and maybe other materials. But they look like things you would see at Disneyland, very elaborate and exaggerated.








































Some of these figures are HUGE- several stories tall! some are closer to life size. In the last 2 photos we watched a team do final assembly on a smaller set of figures, and I caught a glimpse of the plan they were working from. They take an enormous amount of work, creativity, and probably money.

. . . . And now they are all burned up!

Because on the last day of this festival. At midnight, they set every single one of these statues on fire, stuffing them with explosive firecrackers and celebrating as they turn into fire and then charred messes. (we were not in town for this part of the festival!)

I'm thinking about this as an artist, and as a follower of Jesus. It amazes me that people take such pride and joy in making something that will be seen for such a short time and then destroyed by fire. Although the burning is part of the process. Sort of bothers me. Each year, They choose one of the little figures to save and put in a museum, but everything else is gone.

As an artist, I think of the loss of an amazing thing, and it grieves me that that gorgeous samuri on his horse and the geisha who seemed less-than-impressed with him, they exist only in pictures and memories. We have seen artwork and architecture that is hundreds, even a thousand years old in this trip. But Las Fallas are more like Rose Parade floats than religious icons. (wouldn't people get a kick out of igniting the parade floats! But you could never do this in the US!) Their beauty is only intended for a few short days, although they take a year to design and build and decorate.

I have been making quite a few pieces in the last couple years that I show in various places, and this makes me happy. I have sold several pieces, and feel happy about this too. I know I am not making any real profit, making even enough to cover expenses, much less pay for my time and skill. But I don't regret selling my art. It motivates me to make more. And while I would freak out if they were burned up, I make ArtQuilts because I love the process -maybe as much as the product.

I was going to ponder the spiritual connotations too, but I need some coffee and there is a lot of Barcelona waiting to be explored!



Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:valencia