Do What's Doable

Sometimes the vision is SO big and SO amazing that I can't get out of idea-mode and into action mode. What I see in my head and dream in my heart is BIG - but what I am actually able to do is relatively small. I haven't been asking God for more ability - but I have been asking for more faith.

I've also been seeking clear guidance on what is the next step - the first thing to do. I believe God revealed that to me recently. He said, Just do it for a month. Don't try to start something that you have to sustain indefinitely - can you trust me enough to do it for a limited time?

Good idea, God!

a bit of confirmation came in a quote attributed to St. Francis Assisi: Do what is possible, then do what is needed; soon you will be doing what is miraculous.

So, what we are working towards now is to 'build a tabernacle' for the month of December - a place of beauty and community and worship and prayer - in the middle of the Urban 'wilderness' that is downtown Tempe. (Okay, we won't literally build a tent - we're hoping to rent one of those vacant retail spaces near the coffee plantation.)

Mill Avenue District - Tempe

• We hope to exhibit art that speaks the gospel (probably with the theme of Incarnation -God come to dwell with us in an unexpected way, the divine truly present in our broken world, the grace of God made accessible and tangible).
• We want to have lots of live music, especially on the weekends when thousands of people, from the University campus and all over the world, are strolling Mill Avenue.
• We plan to create a sacred space where prayer is ongoing - worshiping God, ministering healing and hope to people, blessing this community.
• We expect to engage in countless conversations with all kinds of people about ordinary and extraordinary things - with more much listening and understanding than preaching. We may have some more structured discussions and learning opportunities.
• We sense that God wants us to give and serve the oppressed and the captives - not sure what form that will take, but we are listening and available.

• And we will even 'do church' on Sunday mornings!

(but not always 3 songs and a sermon)

The point is to be present in a specific location as people who express God's grace. Our purpose is to encourage creativity, spirituality and community - an incarnational ministry of people who love Jesus and want to spend time with the people that Jesus misses most.

Now comes the hard part (for me) which is inviting other people to be part of this ministry-outreach-event-mission-whatever-you-call-it. For now, would you just pray with us - and if something begins to resonate with you, would you please talk with us about doing this with us?

"that's not a church . . . "

As Joe and I have been seeking to follow the vision God has given us, we have had a few very frustrating meetings. One of those was our first assessment interview. When we shared some of the 'outside-the-box' ideas for our potential church plant, we were told, "That's not a church, its a ministry." We were frustrated, confused and a little bit ticked.

Yes, it is a church, it is also a ministry, and a Kingdom work, and a community.
How are those other things not a church?

See, when you tell a 'regular church-goer' that the main thing you will focus on is not the Sunday morning assembly with 3 songs and a sermon -- well, its a big stretch for them to see how you could de-emphasize that and still be a church. By definition, church has to be 30 or more people meeting every week to listen to a preacher, collect an offering, in a room with a sign that says 'such-and such church.'

All the other stuff - like praying together, sharing meals, serving the lost and broken, discussing how the Word and the Spirit are transforming us, having meaningful conversations with people who don't know Jesus, creating beauty, seeking justice, loving people. . . well all that stuff is good, but it is extra, "it's not church!"

Not that they think that this is a bad idea: a storefront art gallery with live music and a prayer space, right in the middle of an urban community - where un-churched people can connect with grace-giving Christians - and Christians can gather to worship and learn and create and be a community. They say, "Great idea, go do it!"

BUT they also say they won't support it as a church plant, because it won't look like church the way they do it. "It's just not our DNA." Which feels rather like: "Sorry dear, it won't look like the rest of the family, so we don't feel comfortable helping you give birth to this baby. Go ahead and do it on your own; maybe we will adopt it later on."

So after months of hoping for support and blessing from what has been my church 'family,' and despairing to the point that I've seriously considered aborting this vision - I've realized that maybe they are right.

What God has conceived in my heart does not look like "church." It doesn't have the same desired outcome as most church planting models. I can't force this dream into a process that is designed to produce a 'normal' church and expect it to become something else. I'll be fighting to fit in and stay true to the calling - and I can't accomplish both of those. So we can either let go of the dream - or let go of the desire to be accepted within a limited definition of 'church.' Guess which one God is asking us to pursue?

Abort ? Retry ? Ignore ?

I know, I've been hiding. I've been so frustrated with the whole lack of progress in the 'church planting process' that I haven't blogged anything, because I had nothing positive to say, and haven't even been sure I want to plant a church anyway. . . . not that I'm real positive right now, or I have much clarity, but I'm ready to be honest about what is happening and how I am feeling about it all.

When Joe last posted (in May!), I thought we had had a breakthrough. My pastor had told me he was waiting for us to be approved and assessed before he would bless us and let us 'go public' with the vision for Streams of Grace. Until then, I did not have his permission to distribute prayer cards or invite people from the congregation over to share our vision, or to begin meeting with a small group. I was waiting for the official denominational assessment (which of course, took forever to set up.) So I waited, and waited, and waited.

Once we had the official okay, I hoped we could go before the congregation of our church and share what God is calling us to, ask people to pray for us, and invite people to consider partnering with us. All I ever wanted was a blessing - with words of encouragement, honor, and prophetic affirmation. To be truly 'sent' to do this thing.

But that wasn't happening, and I didn't know why not. I wasn't ever expecting any financial support from this church - the vision God gave me is too different from the vision for that church for the pastor to really embrace, (and besides, it wasn't his vision.) But I felt it was more than a philosophical difference, and more than administrative slowness that was blocking us. I felt unwanted, ignored and dumped.

The frustration increased after Joe and I organized a major event which was to be hosted by the church. The resistance and drama from the 'office staff' was a complete shock - and I was blamed for creating problems with the staff. Although the concert was great, the art exhibit was pretty good, and over $14,000 dollars was raised for Habitat for Humanity, the event was judged 'not successful' and 'not worth it' by our pastor. He never even said 'thank you.'
According to him, my frustration was a warning that I had some 'issues' that made him really hesitate to approve my calling. (I pushed too hard with the office staff, came on too strong with ideas that would promote this ministry and the kick-off event and I was too upset when things that the church had committed to were not done, or withdrawn at the last minute.) I acknowledged all that pushiness, and I apologized. I explained it also had a lot to do with my extreme frustration at the lack of progress with the church planting process, that I was still waiting for a green light from him to begin what he 'sent' me to do 6 months earlier.

And then I went home and wept, hard, locked in my closet. A blessing was not just something that was stalled, now he wasn't so sure about blessing us at all. I don't know why I wanted it or needed it so much - but it truly broke my heart that night in May. I waited long, worked hard and submitted to the process. And, not for the first time in my life, I was being told I am too strong. So its not the vision, its not the administrative process, its me. Something wrong with me.


I felt like quitting, giving up, abandoning the dream, saying "No, God. I can't do this." I have been seriously considering aborting this 'baby.'

the past 2 months, at least, have felt like sitting in front of the computer staring at this error message:

and seriously considering Abort as the best option.


I know that if I kill this vision, it is like a suicide as well - a huge part of who I am ans what makes my heart beat and my mind soar is wrapped up in the vision and calling God has put in me.

I know that if decide to quit now, that choice would be based on frustration and fear and lack of approval from man, not on faith. But I already said I don't have enough faith for this.

I know God loves me no matter what I do or don't do - I'm not doing this for His approval or love. And Joe is with me either way.

If I abort now, nobody else risks their heart or time or money or dreams. If I quit before I start, I hurt like hell, but nobody else gets hurt. They don't get healed or blessed or set free or transformed by the amazing grace of God either - at least not by me, not by Streams of Grace.

So that's where I've been. . . hovering with my finger over the abort button - not clicking it, but not quite ready to Retry

I need to hear from God, (from my Father in heaven, not my pastor or any other man)
what HE wants me to do - and when - and with whom. So I'm praying. And still waiting.

We are official

Time has marched on since our last blog which tested our faith and produced little cracks of doubt but God is faithful and moved within the denomination to direct us to a person that greatly helped us and supported the vision and was able to move the timetable up.

We are officially assessed and approved as a church plant. Awesome!

Next steps are to form a core team that will lay the solid foundation. We desire to start meeting twice a month, praying, worshiping, and being in community together. We are praying that God moves mightily in the hearts of people and that they would respond to his call to reach people through art, music, and community.

How long does this take?

People keep asking me 'when?'

I keep asking the same question.
I think the answer is: longer than I want it to. . .
and WAY longer than Joe thinks it should.

I like that there's a process for assessing and coaching church planters - I don't like that it necessarily involves administrative work which takes time.

I just finished filling out a 12 page application, which I will turn in today. And then I will wait, hopefully not toooo long, before the district church plant coordinator sets up an assessment interview. I think that's supposed to be a 3-hour deal, with Joe and I answering behavioral questions to determine if we are 'ready' to plant a church. There are supposed to be 3 people, all pastors, on the assessment team - just getting that scheduled is going to take time!


So I got this "Timeline for church planting"
It is graphically cool - but doesn't actually have any actual increments of time on it.
http://reachmore.foursquare.org/articles/10,1.html


So, is this going to take 6 months? - 2 years? 40? We hope to have our assessment interview in February, go to Church Planters Intensive in March or April, start meeting soon after and 'go public' in August or September.
We may be crazy, however.

Don't pray that we'll have patience, please! But you can pray with us for God's timing.

Vision for a church about-to-be formed

What will this church look like?

I have a pretty clear sense of vision for what would be important and different about a church that I would lead. I've made lists and diagrams and written mission and values statements - even drawn pictures of what I want my church to be like.

Except that ultimately, it is Jesus who leads the church, and it is His, not mine.
The Holy Spirit reminded me of this as I was reading 1 Cor 2 this morning. I have work to do, as a visionary leader and pastor and church planter - and my work matters to God and to His Kingdom. I am responsible to do my part well, and to work as a team with Joe and other people God will call to this church. But it is God's vision, God's church, and God causes life and growth and fruit, not me.

Keeping that in focus, it is time to really clarify and cast the vision for Streams of Grace. I am ready to share the picture I have with people. It's time to bring the dreams out of the secret places of my heart and mind, out into the real world - and that is scary and exciting. It is time to see what else God will reveal, what He will clarify, what He will change.

The process for this is going to be in conversation with other people. I am not going to come down off the mountain with the plans for the tabernacle all drawn up - although that would be cool! God is telling me He will reveal things in community, as we go, and from a variety of people.

This is a much messier and less controlled way of developing vision and values, and it takes more time. But if we are going to be a church that truly values relationships and conversation and creativity (and that IS part of the vision) then we have to BE that way, from the beginning.

So we begin, this week, a series of envisioning gatherings - food and prayer and conversation with friends about what God wants His church to be. We aren't recruiting and we aren't fund raising, we are sharing and listening

and praying praying praying!

More on Downtown Tempe

We visited downtown Tempe three times over the past week and see so much potential there. I have talked to two individuals about the cost of leasing available space. The lease cost is in the range of being reasonable for planting a church and having a presence (spiritual and physical) in the area.

According to the City of Tempe "It is the most diverse city in Arizona and is great for people-watching and people-meeting." Music and art are key elements to attracting the people in this urban setting. The people want opportunities to participate in as well as simply enjoy community. The Mill Avenue Festival of the Arts brings artists from around the world to Tempe twice a year. While the Tempe Music Festival and New Times Music Showcase bring top rock bands from around the country to the streets of Tempe. Live@theLake is a free Sunday night concert series of local talent ranging from reggae to pop to blues.

Generally, churches do not utilize their facilities very well. Churches tend to be open a couple of days a week for a couple hours on those days and the rest of time tend to be dormant except for the offices of the staff.

Streams of Grace will be an active member of downtown Tempe, open virtually every day. Being there to pray with people (workers, business owners, pedestrians) as they stop by, providing a sacred place, bringing a glimpse of the kingdom to people.....just being Christ like everyday,

transition time

I cleaned out my desk at the church office yesterday - since I'm not 'on staff' anymore so I can focus on church planting. But I don't exactly feel focused - I feel a little at loose ends. (or perhaps the right word is discombobulated)

I've always been happier when I am self-directed and not micromanaged - and I know from being an artist that the 'blank canvas' is always intimidating, but once you get going, it gets easier. It's not that I don't know what to do next either, its just that I haven't actually started to do it.

I am really thrilled that Joe and I are doing this together - when I first felt a calling and a vision for leading a church, Joe was supportive of whatever I wanted to do, but it didn't seem like he was going to get involved. Since we went away for a weekend in June, the vision has become ours, not just mine, and the new church is something we are birthing together. (and since our 3 human children have turned out quite well, I'm very hopeful!)

Downtown Tempe Walk

Adriene and I walked all around downtown Tempe and are very excited about the possibilities and availability of space to lease. The area is booming with new construction and most of all people. We believe this is the community we are to reach and we are trusting God to guide us and make it happen through supernatural means.

We need a core team to help us plan, process, and develop Streams of Grace into a community that is being transformed by God and a into a community that is a vital part and an active part of downtown Tempe life. We desire to reach people through art and music and we need a core team with the same heart beat to help us.

Streams of Grace - vision and values

Spiritual and Social

Transformation, through:

Redemptive Relationships

Experiences & God-Encounters

Artistic Expression

Missional Ministry

Sacred Spaces

of

Grace

Renewal

Acceptance

Creativity

Encouragement

first meetings

Thursday Joe and I sat down with our pastor, Mark. We sketched the basic vision and values for our new church - and talked about the location and the format some.
This afternoon we will meet with Pastor Richard - the District Supervisor for Arizona Foursquare.
The next step in the formal process is paperwork, of course, and then an assessment interview.

I'm feeling confident and excited - today at least!

Yikes

Expecting...wow!

We're Expecting!!!

Newsflash

Joe and Adriene are starting to blog about our new big adventure, and we invite you to eavesdrop and join in the conversation.

We are going to plant a church - some time in 2008.
Joe says 10-12 months, Adriene is thinking it only takes 9 months to grow a baby, so it should take about the same time to gestate and birth a church, right?